Priceless

When our Mom graduated from a Seoul area high school in 1963, her family didn't have the money to send her to university. Thankfully, she had a friend whose father hired our Mom to do secretarial work for a local hospital. She saved what she could from that job and ultimately put herself through a 2-year college program to earn her diploma.

Among Koreans of our Mom's generation, a 4-year university degree is what separates those who are considered to be well educated and everyone else. This is no longer the case in our internet-driven world where anyone with sufficient motivation can learn just about anything they want to, but Korean culture being what it was in our Mom's time, she long carried the sense that she was under-educated.

When she was 55, she spent a few years in Buffalo, New York, where our Dad was the senior pastor of a Korean Presbyterian Church. With the spare time she had there, she studied online with a Bible College in Atlanta to work toward her Bachelor of Theology degree. As their time in Buffalo came to an end, she completed the required courses for her degree, but our parents' financial circumstances were such that they couldn't pay her final tuition bill, which was required for her to graduate and receive her diploma. Still, I think our Mom was happy in knowing that she had successfully completed the work needed to earn her degree even though she never officially graduated.

I learned all of this by chance through one of our daily FaceTime talks in early January. Our Mom mentioned that before our Dad passed away, while reminiscing on this and that from his hospital bed, he said that he regretted not finding a way to pay that final tuition bill so that our Mom could receive her Bachelor of Theology degree.

The next free moment I had, I contacted the school, and after some back and forth, incredibly, they were able to find our Mom's records from 25 years earlier. In clearing up the balance owed for her studies, within two weeks, we received by mail a beautiful blue velvet folder with her official diploma. We took great delight in surprising her with the wonderful news and her diploma at a lunch gathering. I'll never forget the shocked expression that appeared on her face as she opened her gift and realized what it was.

The reality is that our Mom never needed an official degree to feel whole. She has long lived with a kind and cheerful heart, as evidenced by the deep fondness and respect that her children, siblings, and friends have for her. To be able to surprise her with a diploma that she fully earned but was too poor and humble to obtain earlier was a gift to all of us.

Even the folks at the Bible College in Atlanta were amazed with our Mom's story, remarking that at 80 years of age, she officially became their oldest graduate on record, and that her story served them with great inspiration to remember that it's never too late to pursue our dreams.

I wish that I could share some of the photos that were snapped during our surprise celebration. Alas, our Mom being shy and not wanting this sort of attention, all I can share is today's written account.

In looking through the photos and videos taken during our surprise gathering, I'm reminded of how priceless such recordings will be in the years ahead when, God willing, we'll be able to look back at them. For those who are able to, I would suggest recording videos with parents and grandparents. It can be as simple as sitting together on a sofa and asking them to share stories from their upbringing.

Here are some questions that can lead to meaningful conversations:

If you wrote a book about your mother, what would the title be?

If you wrote a book about your father, what would the last line be?

Could you describe a time that someone’s help changed your life?

What has been your favourite age so far and why?

What do you know now that you wish you knew earlier on in life?

What’s a mistake that you made that you learned from?

What do you find beautiful?

What was one of the happiest moments of your life?

What is your greatest strength?

Describe a turning point in your life.

What is a dream that you let go of?

What is something you want to say to someone that you haven't said to them yet?

What do you want to be remembered for?

What’s the hardest part about being you?